I was determined this morning to have a good start to the new week and a wonderful day. I had everything lined up for what was going to happen - and made allowances for changes if there needed to be. But blow me down, I obviously irritated all the ethereal beings there are because they determined that that mood would NOT last.
First up was chaos in my inbox - but I worked through that and felt I had got there, now I just needed to go to Chapel and after that I would get on with things. Oh no, the ethereal beings who I have annoyed declared, not so quickly. The mother who is miffed at the fact that her son was not selected for exchange had obviously spent the entire weekend researching the evaluation criteria of various exchange programmes, and then sent it to me so that I could now look at this and change our criteria. When I glanced through things, it looked very similar to the way in which we assessed things, but when I told mother dearest that, she did not feel that they were. Why is it that some people are never satisfied - no matter what - and then they have to make their unhappiness everyone else's issue! Ugh, irritates and annoys me that I am allowing a handful of sad people to get under my skin.
The big positive from the weekend was that I was able to spend more time on my "Lavender and bees" painting, and have decided to add a rose in for good measure - and I loved it! Once I realised that I could do it without trying to copy the original exactly - which as the lecturer on the art course I am doing commented - that would then negate the need for photos - I had such fun - hence my being in a positive frame of mind this morning.
Oh well, going to spend a good evening with Mum. Say to hell with the miserable people of this world (even go so far as pretend that they do not exist - and eventually they will go away!). And once more into the fray ...
Monday, May 23, 2011
Saturday, May 21, 2011
The other side of being passionate about life!
Funny how one can try one's hardest to make sure that you are doing the right thing, and then - when it does matter, things fall apart!
This week I have been trying to get some perspective in my life, and it all just seems to be going totally wonky! So much so that I wonder if I am in the right place in terms of work (yet my deep gut tells me I am), and so many other things.
I guess that is where the passionate in life starts to hit one in the gut! The feeling I have at the moment reminds me of a poem by a poet whose name I cannot recall at the moment where he speaks of living life to the fullest to one's dying moment. The only hassle with that is that when one does give over everything, the smallest bump in life's road causes the most awful mess!
I never want to be someone who stops feeling, caring and being passionate about things that matter to me. But, at times like the present, I could happily trade places with someone who does not for a couple of hours or days until the yeach feelings leave.
It all started yesterday morning when I had an early morning appointment with parents of one of the boys who had not made it onto three of the programmes offered in my department of the school activities. The parents are looking for answers - and I can understand that - how else will the guide and help their son, but at the same time, there is a part of them not listening to the answers I provide because they don't want to - and because I cannot push them through with conviction because I have been let down by some of my colleagues and I am trying desperately to protect those self-same colleagues - and personal cost to my own happiness.
Life is tough, and no matter the trite saying of "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" - it is just a saying. Getting rid of that sinking onerous feeling that I have possibly done wrong by one of the boys is not something I can ignore easily. I guess, like with all things in life - "this too shall pass" - but again, I wonder, at what cost to me (and my poor aching inner child)?
Not a good space! :-(
This week I have been trying to get some perspective in my life, and it all just seems to be going totally wonky! So much so that I wonder if I am in the right place in terms of work (yet my deep gut tells me I am), and so many other things.
I guess that is where the passionate in life starts to hit one in the gut! The feeling I have at the moment reminds me of a poem by a poet whose name I cannot recall at the moment where he speaks of living life to the fullest to one's dying moment. The only hassle with that is that when one does give over everything, the smallest bump in life's road causes the most awful mess!
I never want to be someone who stops feeling, caring and being passionate about things that matter to me. But, at times like the present, I could happily trade places with someone who does not for a couple of hours or days until the yeach feelings leave.
It all started yesterday morning when I had an early morning appointment with parents of one of the boys who had not made it onto three of the programmes offered in my department of the school activities. The parents are looking for answers - and I can understand that - how else will the guide and help their son, but at the same time, there is a part of them not listening to the answers I provide because they don't want to - and because I cannot push them through with conviction because I have been let down by some of my colleagues and I am trying desperately to protect those self-same colleagues - and personal cost to my own happiness.
Life is tough, and no matter the trite saying of "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade" - it is just a saying. Getting rid of that sinking onerous feeling that I have possibly done wrong by one of the boys is not something I can ignore easily. I guess, like with all things in life - "this too shall pass" - but again, I wonder, at what cost to me (and my poor aching inner child)?
Not a good space! :-(
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